Grounding: Finding Calm in the Chaos
Have you ever felt like your anxiety was pulling you into a storm you just couldn’t escape?
What if I told you that grounding could be your lifeline—a simple, practical way to pull yourself back to safety?
Let’s dive into what grounding is (and what it isn’t), with a sprinkle of wisdom, relatability, and maybe a smile or two.
What Grounding Really Is
Grounding is all about finding your footing when everything feels unsteady. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine but gently reminding your mind and body that they are safe—right here, right now. Think of it as giving your overwhelmed brain a chance to catch its breath and come back online.
When anxiety or trauma hijacks your system, your brain’s “emergency alarm” (your back brain) takes over, and your logical, reflective self (the front brain) goes off-line.
Grounding is a way to call the front brain back and tell your back brain all is well.
Trauma Makes Grounding Tougher (But Not Impossible)
Let’s be real—if you’ve experienced trauma, reconnecting with your body can feel scary and actually make you feel even more unsafe. Trauma responses are sometimes to disconnect from our bodies as a survival strategy. Switching awareness back on can be re-traumatising therefore.
Grounding, then, is NOT an instant fix nor to be approached lightly. It is a very gentle and very gradual process of learning to feel safe again.
Start small. Maybe place your hand on your chest and remind yourself, “I’m here. I’m okay.” It takes time to rebuild trust with your body, but every tiny step counts.
It’s Not a One-Size-Fits-All Solution
Here’s the thing about grounding: what works for one person might not work for another. Listing objects in the room might feel calming to someone else but frustrating and annoying to you. And that’s okay. Breathwork, for example, is a popular grounding tool—but if your trauma involved difficulty breathing, it might feel triggering instead of helpful.
Grounding isn’t about forcing yourself to use tools that don’t fit; it’s about finding what feels right for you and ideally with the support of a trained, regulated therapist who themselves are very grounded and feeling safe so they can be fully observant of your nervous system.
What Grounding Isn’t
Another thing grounding is not is stuffing your feelings in a box and hoping they go away. Distress is a messenger—not your favourite messenger, but one worth listening to.
Grounding helps you soften the intensity of feelings so you can deal with them later, not ignore them forever. Or grounding can be used whilst feeling to avoid 'over spill' or 'overwhelm'.
You’re not trying to silence the storm—you’re just finding a shelter until it passes. I like to use the idea of experiencing the front brain being online a teaspoon at a time rather than tipping a bucket of water over myself or getting into a great wave and expecting to feel good.
Simple Grounding Tools to Try
Let’s get practical. Here are some grounding techniques you can experiment with:
Focus on your out-breath. Slowing your exhale tells your nervous system to calm down—no fancy apps needed!
Look around the room. Spot five things of the same colour or name three objects near you. Intentional eye movements can help reduce that fight-or-flight feeling. A soft gaze into the distance (or as if in the distance) also regulates the nervous system for me.
Human connection. A trusted friend’s voice or touch can be grounding in a way no technique ever will be. Even being a room with a well grounded person is probably the most effective way to ground. I only have to think of my 'perfect nurturer' as I call them when I teach mindfulness and my system calms down.
Engage your senses. Hold something warm, like a mug of tea, or run your fingers over a textured object to bring yourself back to the present. Sometimes you might prefer a cold drink if you need to activate or wet cold hands placed on your cheeks after running cold water over your hands.
Your Grounding Journey
Grounding is personal—it’s not about doing it “right.” It’s about discovering what works for you, whether that’s taking a walk, listening to music, or wrapping yourself in a cosy blanket and letting out a sigh.
It’s okay if some things don’t work at first. The key is patience and curiosity. Trauma may have taught you to disconnect, but grounding is your invitation to reconnect, step by gentle step.
If grounding sounds like the kind of support you’re looking for, I’d love to help you explore it further. Together, we can find tools that make you feel safer and more in control. Anxiety and trauma don’t have to call the shots anymore—you do.
Reach out today at www.mymindfulcounsellor.com or mymindfulcounsellor@gmail.com Let’s find your calm together.
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